Posted Monday, February 7th, 2011
A Girlís Song
Emily K. Iekel
The small stream flowing by sparkles
Like my motherís scarf.
Iíd like to wrap it around my breasts, silk,
Until they swell and grow, ripe fruit.
Iíd like to slide it around my waist,
The hands of a lover.
Iíd like to lie down with it
Beneath the tiny bridge where it sleeps
And let it kiss me all over
Comments [post a comment]
Posted by Zoe Brigley Thompson on Monday, February 7th, 2011 at 10:34 AM
This is a very rich poem with gorgeous imagery. I wonder whether the first line could be tweaked very slightly, as it reads a little strangely at the moment. Would it be clearer and less distracting as 'Flowing by, the small stream sparkles / Like my mother's scarf'?
Posted by Lorri Barrier on Wednesday, February 9th, 2011 at 11:26 AM
Lovely poem. If I were going to suggest a change to the first line, I'd just eliminate "flowing by" completely, leaving "The small stream sparkles like my mother's scarf."
I love the imagery and the last line. Nice.